Typically found with coffee in her hand and a smile on her face, Karla Paulina Martinez finds it difficult to believe that in five short years, God has transformed her life from a deeply unhappy liberal agnostic to a beaming graduate about to enter religious life. Her journey to her vocation, with all its unexpected moments of grace, has been guided by a yearning for truth and a desire to find home.
The beginning of Martinez’s story is an all-too familiar tale: she left the Church as a young teen, influenced by harmful and deceitful ideologies. The people of her workplace, a self-proclaimed “inclusive” coffee shop, encouraged her in a very left-leaning lifestyle, and soon her life was absorbed in liberal activism. She decided she was agnostic and then threw herself into a self-destructive new life.
“It becomes your entire personality,” Martinez says, “My identity was so wrapped up in ‘being liberal’, and once you accept part of it, they’re not happy until you’ve accepted all of it.”
Martinez’s drastic new lifestyle and activism caused much tension within her family, characterized by many bitter fights. Despite this, her mother refused to give up hope. She continued to present Martinez with opportunities to find her way back to the faith, much to her daughter’s annoyance.
This story comes from the latest issue of Instaurare Magazine, the official magazine of Christendom College. Read more from Instaurare here!
Years passed, and Martinez’s lifestyle came to a hard stop after a difficult falling out with her circle. Despite their promises of tolerance and love, they turned their backs on her, leaving her feeling devastatingly lost and empty. In the midst of this unhappiness, she agreed, mid-fight, to attend Mass with her mother.
“It was a Holy Spirit moment,” Martinez says, “I don’t even know why I said it. But before I even realized what I was saying, my mom was shoving me out the door before I could change my mind.”
Martinez laughs to recall this moment, attending Mass for the first time in years, sporting a pink pixie cut, a nose ring, and tattoos, with her mother happily beside her. The Mass had a profound effect on her, and though still resistant, her reversion was sparked.
Still, her transformation would take years to complete. Not fully convinced, Martinez was driven by a need to know all the reasons “why.” Just as her journey of reversion was gaining momentum, however, the world went into lockdown in 2020 and Martinez’s world turned upside down again.
Though difficult, it led to the next crucial step of her journey: Christendom. Searching for a job led her to a summer camp at the Sacred Heart of Jesus parish in Winchester, Virginia, where she worked with several Christendom students. She felt intrigued by their confidence in their faith. It was during this time, one sleepless night, that Martinez looked up Christendom College and found herself feeling a connection to founder Dr. Warren Carroll.
“He was a convert,” Martinez says, “I felt like he got me.”
Martinez remembers feeling struck by Carroll’s mantra, “Truth Exists, the Incarnation Happened.” She had been looking for truth for years. Reading about Carroll’s mission of “going out and restoring all things in Christ,” she felt even more compelled. Without fully processing how or why she was doing it, Martinez applied and was accepted. Everything fell into place in a bewildering summer of grace and providence. Martinez was now a Crusader.
She remembers her first semester as being a difficult transition. Adjusting from her previous life left her feeling overwhelmed with life on campus. She kept more to herself and struggled with joining the community. Despite the difficulties, she was increasingly drawn to the academic life at Christendom, excited that she had access to the “reasons why” of Catholicism. She especially credits Dr. Cuddeback’s Ethics course in helping her persevere through the difficulties she faced her first year.
“What is on campus, in the people, the professors, is something so transformative.” Martinez says, “These people are so whole, and it made me realize how broken I was. It made me want to be like them.”
Martinez’s newfound confidence helped her step out of her shell, finding immense joy in the community, especially drawn by her love of coffee to volunteer at Christendom’s Sacred Grounds coffee shop. She continued to heal and grow, fully embracing the culture on campus, until she was confronted on Holy Thursday of 2022 with a calling. After listening to a homily about how “there is no lack of vocations, just a lack of responses.” Martinez felt a strong conviction that the words were meant for her. The feeling did not go away with time, and she began to question seriously what this feeling meant. She found herself remembering two sisters who gave a talk on identity at the Sacred Heart summer camp all those years ago, remembering only that they wore gray habits and a bright blue scapular. She recalled being especially struck by their names: Sister Splendor of the Cross and Sister Spouse of the Holy Spirit. Feeling an irresistible desire to know more, Martinez tracked down the order and paid a visit to the Institute of the Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matará.
The experience was magnetic. As soon as she walked in, she knew with complete comfort, peace, and certainty that she had finally found what her heart had been longing for.
Martinez met with the Mother Superior, Mother Mary of the Crucified, who, in the course of their long conversation, used the phrase “The Incarnation Happened,” echoing Carroll’s words that helped draw Martinez to Christendom years prior. Thrilled, Martinez shared her desire to join immediately, but Mother Crucified encouraged her to finish her final semester and graduate.
“Mother said that if it were a different college that would cause me to lose my faith, she would understand,” Martinez relates, “but she said I was at Christendom! So, my vocation was safe, and I should graduate first.” By the end of her visit, Martinez was already referring to herself as one of the sisters.
The Institute of the Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matará is the sister branch of the Religious Family of the Incarnate Word established in 1984. Their mission, one that Martinez considers a natural progression of “restoring all things in Christ,” is that they embrace a desire to live the apostolic adventure – to go where no one else wants to go. In addition to poverty, chastity, and obedience, each sister also takes a fourth vow to Mary and is given the name of a Marian title, so that their name becomes a perpetual litany of praise.
Martinez is grateful for Christendom not only for her education but her holistic formation as a person. She could have read the books on her own, studied at another college, but nowhere else could she have had the life-changing experiences she had at Christendom.
“Our rational capacity cannot flourish outside of a culture and these last four years have taught me just how true that is,” she says. “It wasn’t just the classes; it was the movie nights, the coffee dates, the Thomistic dinners, and laughter; it was debates, office hours, Strongholds, pub nights, and Dorm Wars. It was the community coming together for Mass, holy hours, and prayer…It was everything.”
Martinez graduated this May with a bachelor’s in English Language and Literature and will be spending the summer preparing and fundraising to pay off miscellaneous debt. Christendom College forgives the outstanding debt of any student who commits to religious life, which Martinez credits as allowing her to join the order in the fall, as opposed to delaying another year.
The order embodies, as one of their non-negotiables, a charism of not being afraid to confront the reality of things. This continues the journey Martinez started so long ago, as a teenager restlessly searching for truth. This journey led her to Christendom where she encountered truth, and finally to the Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matará, where she found home.
Written by Lianna Youngman.
Read more from Instaurare Magazine here.